NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
