If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
