If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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