i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize