To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
