This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
