i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
