Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
