I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
