She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
