I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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