just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
