She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
this just has baby written all over it
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
