i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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