He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
