He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize