Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize