Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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