i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
