I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
