just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
