Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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