I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
