why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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