I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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