margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
