Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
