Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
