She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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