hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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