How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
