If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize