omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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