Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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