I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
