I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
