is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
