just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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