my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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