Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize