I think my vagina is haunted
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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