dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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