Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
