no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
