Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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