i just google imaged poop.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize