Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm too high and old for this...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
