i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
