you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
