I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
In America we eat man semen.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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