everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Dignity is for republicans.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
