Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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