Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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