just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Send help, water and tortillas.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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