yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
