It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
