My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
