His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
