I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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