Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
