new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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