Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
