I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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