I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
zippers are such a cool invention
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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