Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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