Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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