she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
