Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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