so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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