yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize