If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I would fuck him just for his dog
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
