nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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