Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
