Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
