you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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