What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
