Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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