too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
