just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
