I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
