Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
