Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
